it feels good to write here again. I miss the day to day check-ins of weeks past…the squirrels and rabbits and poppies gone unmentioned, the strange twists of the spring weather. it reminds me of times in the past when i’ve lost touch with my writer self, that summer in college when I didn’t write for months on end. it’s like losing part of my own head, or a piece of my past.
time does keep spinning out, whether we want it to or not. one of the things that I’ve always hated about living hand to mouth is that I’m always looking anxiously towards the next payday, and so I don’t live in the moment as I’d like to.
and I live with less than I want, not enjoying my life as I want to. not that I’m always too certain about what I want, either. <sigh>
then again, my life is pretty fucking good.
- I have a good job, doing interesting work (for the most part)
- I live in a big, fairly comfortable rental house, with a sunny yard
- I have a smart, funny, sexy husband, 2 cute friendly cats, and several good friends
- I’m reasonably healthy
- I have a decent computer, a cheap connection to the internet, and I can create my own web site
- I’m still being creative and continuing with my writing
so yeah, it’s not too damn bad, is it? i have to remember, to think, to be aware of what my life is, and that it’s my life to enjoy.
maybe I should go for a walk & enjoy the last of the sunlight.