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The two posts I’ve got in my head right now feel directly opposed, but I know that they’re not…..

The depression is back (in pog form!) having drifted in somewhat gradually the last month or so.  I feel like I’ve relapsed.  Not only did I stop medication earlier in the spring, but I stopped going to therapy and stopped a lot of the other related stuff that was working for me.  I checked Learned Optimism out of the library, and mostly I felt guilt and severe anxiety.

Exercise is good for me, but 5 miles of biking a day isn’t enough.  The bright weather helps, somewhat, but not enough.

So I started therapy again yesterday, making it clear to my therapist that I need her help to be strong about making appointments.  (Not keeping, just making, oddly enough.)

And today I had an appointment with my regular doctor, who is totally hawesome, and I’m trying a different medication.

Right now I feel like I’m walking that thin edge, and being sociable is just an insane struggle.  But recognizing what this is, and facing it?  That helps a lot.